If you are here, anger may be something you are dealing with on a regular basis. It may be impacting your life and the lives of those around you.
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I want you to know that it is not your fault.
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but...
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It is your responsibility. To yourself and to those around you.
Just by being here and reading this you are already along the path to accepting that responsibility.
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So anger is something that you deal with regularly.
Maybe you are aware of it, maybe someone else has told you. Maybe you shout at people, maybe even yourself, demanding to know why things are not how you believe they should be.
Maybe you are physically violent with it, throwing and hitting things, slamming cupboard. Maybe you are viscous with it, pushing people's buttons around you with sarcasm and getting on their case.
Maybe you punish yourself and others with it so that they don’t do it again
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Maybe you go silent and refuse to talk about it. Let it sit burning inside you as others walk on eggshells around you.
Maybe the anger is blamed it on others around you, not taking responsibility for how you feel and the vulnerability that goes with it.
Maybe you make sarcastic jokes and you might say you did not mean it and hide the source of it, as that would make you vulnerable.
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Maybe you never learned how to be vulnerable and that is what makes it so difficult.
Maybe you manipulate with it, trying to get what you want so you don’t have to ask for it and deal with the vulnerability that comes with that.
Maybe you make it everyone else problem, your family, your friends, the dog, the wall, instead of figuring out and/or dealing with why you are angry in the first place.
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Maybe you do all these things with anger.
But there is a twist to this story.
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All these things are not anger.
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They are what anger is not, that is the fire that anger creates when it gets out of control.
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Anger is a healthy emotion, the fire it can create is not.
So, what is anger?
Anger gets a bad rap, and we often hear only the worst of it.
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Anger is a healthy emotion when expressed respectfully.
To ourselves, and to others.
Anger is a response emotion; it can tell us when something is wrong in our world.
We might need to find out what that is, but it can be the beginning of finding that out.
Anger is a source of discovery, and when we learn to trust our anger and express it respectfully, we may be able to identify why we are feeling it and the primary feeling behind it.
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Fear, Sadness, pain/hurt are the usual culprits.
Anger is a positive, normal and appropriate response.
Anger is a part of how we assert ourselves.
When expressed respectfully It builds up our self-esteem by being open and direct about what is inside.
Allowing ourselves to be vulnerable leads to strength.
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Anger is a gift, expressed effectively and assertively everyone knows where they stand.
It’s all on the table, and on that table is a chance to resolve the anger in a healthy fashion.
Anger is a release; it takes an enormous amount of energy to suppress your anger and any primary feeling. If we don’t release it, it can become toxic and toxic anger is like acid. It will eat away at everything until we find ourselves alone if we let it.
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If you have gotten this far, that is another step up the ladder in taking responsibility for it.
What anger is not does have to rule your life anymore.
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We can start to change it together.
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I'm here.
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'Anger is only one letter short of danger'.
- Anon